Hard To Love
by NoPowerInThe'VerseCanStopMe
Summary: Jane Rizzoli is stubborn. She's not the easiest person to love. She makes mistakes. But she always tries to fix it, and that's what really matters. Rated T for a very vague sexy time reference.


Yay Jane and Maura! The song is Hard to Love by Lee Brice. I though it fit Jane. I don't own it. I don't own Rizzoli and Isles or it would definitely be called Rizzoli On Isles. It's not beta'd. Any mistakes (and I'm sure there are a few) are mine. Hopefully it doesn't suck too bad. Enjoy.

* * *

_I am insensitive, I have a tendency to pay more_

_attention to the things that I need._

_Sometimes I drink to much, _

_sometimes I test your trust, _

_sometimes I dunno why you're staying with me?_

Jane Rizzoli was a jerk. She didn't mean to be but sometimes, despite her best efforts, she forgot certain things and missed certain social and emotional cues. She supposed she and Maura were alike in that way. They didn't always pick up on the emotions of those around them.

Maura could tell you seven different physical signs of any emotion Jane could name, but couldn't get the hint to stop talking when Jane kicked her under the table. Jane could work confessions out of sociopaths and other hardened criminals but she couldn't see the look of sadness and hurt that crossed Maura's face every time she started moping about Casey.

What Jane couldn't miss was Maura storming out of her apartment last night after Jane had started going on about her lonely socks again. Maura had found it sad and somewhat amusing the first time and Jane, though still upset about Casey's actions, thought Maura would find it endearing or at least a little bit funny. Jane was shocked when she came back from tossing her clean laundry in bedroom to be put away to find Maura, jacket in hand, halfway out the door.

"Maura, where are you going?" Jane had asked her.

"Home. I just…need to be alone, Jane."

Maura had looked sad. Jane had seen it then. But she didn't understand. Maura left Jane standing in her living room, confused as hell.

After a few days of silence from Maura, Jane invited her mother out for breakfast. Naturally Angela was suspicious.

"Is Maura coming?" Angela asked.

"No, I…I think she's mad at me," Jane said, unsure if mad was the right emotion.

"What do you mean you 'think she's mad', you don't know?"

"No, ma! We were hanging out last night at my apartment and I was complaining about Casey and then she just got up and left, said she needed to be alone."

"You're an idiot, Jane Clementine Rizzoli," the Rizzoli matriarch said, smacking her daughter's arm.

"Ow! What? What did I do?"

"Look, Janie, I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you anymore…" Angela began.

Angela knew far more than she was letting on, though she had been trying her best not to meddle in Jane and Maura's relationship, it was clear that Jane needed a little push. If not, she was bound to drag this mess out even longer.

"Sugarcoat what, Ma?"

"Maura doesn't want to listen to you whine about Casey anymore. You know, I love him, but he's clearly not the one for you, especially after the way he's been treating you. It's hard on her to listen to you mope about him all the time," Angela explained, trying not to give away too much.

"But why is she so upset about it? It's not like I've never complained about guys before."

"That one you're going to have to figure out for yourself, Janie," Angela smiled at her only daughter, "Now, lets have some breakfast!"

I'm hard to love, hard to love,

_I don't make it easy, _

_I couldn't do it if I stood where you stood_

_I'm hard to love, hard to love, _

_you say that you need me, _

_I don't deserve it but I love that you love me good  
_

It had been several hours since Jane had eaten breakfast with her mother and she was even more confused now. Why would talking about Casey make Maura upset? Part of Jane wanted to call her mother up and demand an answer, but she knew it would be futile. Jane Rizzoli did not get her stubborn attitude from her father, that was for sure.

Sighing, Jane grabbed a beer from her fridge and plopped on to the couch. Maybe some mindless TV would help her figure out the Maura situation. She flicked through the channels before settling on some rom-com movie she'd heard about but never seen.

She took a sip of her beer and looked at her phone. She wanted to text Maura. She wanted to call her and tell her not to be mad or sad or whatever she was and come back over. Jane didn't like knowing Maura was upset and not know what to do about it.

It wasn't like Jane and Maura were a couple, so the fact that she liked, or had liked Casey shouldn't be a problem. Though I guess that didn't stop me from being upset about Ian, Jane thought. But then again, Ian was a criminal, Casey isn't. And Giovanni was…well, Giovanni. He still hinted, in his own subtle way, about having a threesome with Jane and Maura every time she saw him. The thought of sleeping with Giovanni always made her shudder, but the brief images of Maura that flashed in her head at the suggestion always left her feeling uncomfortable, but not in an entirely unpleasant way.

Jane took another drink of her beer and willed herself to focus on the TV screen. The main character, a man with spiky black hair, was arguing with his brunette female friend because he kept whining about his ex-girlfriend, who had dumped several weeks ago. Then suddenly, the friend was kissing him. Jane stared, slightly shocked.

"I couldn't listen to you talk about Ashley anymore because I'm in love you, that why," the woman said.

The man just smiled and kissed her again. Jane stared, dumbfounded at the TV as the credits began to roll. There was no way. Maura was not in love with her. Jane was not in love with Maura.

Except maybe she was. Jane knew that she got the best night's sleep when she was curled up next to Maura. She knew Maura could always cheer her up, sometimes without even meaning to as she spouted her Google talk. She knew that those images that popped into her head of Maura, beneath her, wearing little or nothing, were not friendly thoughts, though she'd been shoving them down for so long, she'd almost made herself think they were.

"Well shit, I'm a jerk," Jane said aloud. Jo Friday just stared at her from her perch on the other end of the couch.

Now Jane just had to figure out what to do.

_I am a short fuse, _

_I am a wrecking ball _

_crashing into your heart like I do_

_You're like a Sunday morning_

_full of grace and full of Jesus _

_I wish that I could be more like you.  
_

She called Frost and Korsak and asked them to meet her at the Dirty Robber. They were both there waiting by the time Jane had pulled herself together enough to get in her car and drive there. They even had a beer waiting for her.

"What up Jane?" Frost asked, sliding the beer to her.

Jane took a quick swig and blurted, "I think I'm in love with Maura."

Korsak choked on the drink he was taking at the time, causing Frost to laugh and slap him on the back. Once Korsak was done choking, they both looked at her.

"So, uh, you're in love with Maura, okay," Frost said.

"Well, that's good, Jane…" Korsak said.

"Yeah, except she's mad at me cuz I wouldn't stop talking about Casey," Jane explained.

"Oh," Frost said.

"Well, you should apologize, and soon," Korsak added.

The trio polished off their beers as they formulated a plan for Jane to fix her current predicament with Maura and eventually share her feelings. Jane left the bar with a plan and hopefully enough courage to follow through.

As soon as Jane was gone, Korsak picked up his phone and called Angela, he knew Ma Rizzoli would kill for this information on this development.

_I'm hard to love, hard to love, _

_I don't make it easy, I couldn't do it if I_

_Stood where you stood,_

_I'm hard to love, hard to love, _

_you say that you need me, _

_I don't deserve it but I love that you love me good_

_Love me good  
_

Jane rehearsed what she was going to say for the thousandth time as she drove to Maura's house. She knew all the words would fly right out of her head when she saw Maura, so she wasn't sure why she was doing it, but it gave her something to do.

When she finally pulled into the driveway, the lights were on. Jane made her way up to the door and knocked. She had a key but she didn't want Maura to think she was just bursting in uninvited and get even more mad.

It was Angela who answered the door.

"Janie! Come on in, Maura and I were just finishing dinner."

Maura smiled half-heartedly at Jane and resumed eating her pasta. Angela quickly fixed Jane a plate and picked up her own.

"Well, I'm finished, so I'm going to head out and pick up some dessert, my treat," Angela said, oh so subtly.

"Thank you, Angela," Maura replied politely.

As soon as Angela was gone an awkward silence clung to the room. Jane opened her mouth several times to start talking but closed it. She stabbed her pasta onto her fork but none of it ever made it to her mouth.

"Look, Maura, I just wanted to say that I know I've been a jerk. I shouldn't have whined about Casey so much. I…I should have noticed how it was making you feel," Jane started, her heart racing.

"How it was making me feel?" Maura almost squeaked.

"Yeah, well…" Jane started again, unsure of what to say.

"Jane, I accept your apology, now you should really eat some dinner, your mother made some delicious food and it would be a shame for it to go to waste," Maura said, effectively ending anything Jane was about to say.

Jane nodded and shoved the forkful of pasta she had accumulated earlier into her mouth. It was silent in the house when Angela returned, cheesecake in hand. She looked pointedly at Jane, who just shrugged.

"Janie, be a dear and come help me dish up this cheesecake," Angela called.

Jane rolled her eyes at her mother's transparent plan, but stood from the table and headed to the kitchen anyway.

"What are you doing?" Angela demanded quietly.

"What? I apologized for being a jerk about Casey."

"And?"

"And, what Ma? Since when did you get on the SS Jane and Maura, I thought you wanted me to marry some nice boy and give you lots of grandkids."

"Look, Janie, I just want you to be happy, and it's clear that Maura makes you happy. And you know I love her and she's a doctor, what more could a mother want for her only daughter? Besides, Korsak called and told me the plan."

"I'm gonna kill him," Jane mumbled.

"Jane! Take this cheesecake and talk to her. I'll get out of here."

Jane took the plates Angela shoved at her and turned away.

"Jane," Angela called, "Good luck."

"Thanks, ma," Jane smiled at her mother before heading to the living room where Maura was now seated.

"Raspberry cheesecake?" Jane offered.

"Thank you. Where's Angela?"

"Uh, she said she was tired or something," Jane offered.

Maura looked skeptical but said nothing. They sat in silence, the only noise in the room was their forks scraping cheesecake off their plates. Jane finished her cheesecake first and set the plate on the coffee table. She took a deep breath and turned toward Maura.

"Maura, look, I know why you were upset about me talking about Casey," Jane began again.

"Jane, don't."

"Don't? Don't what Maura? Don't tell you that I get it because it's exactly how I felt whenever you were happy with someone, like Ian, or when you were going out with Giovanni, or that yoga guy? Don't tell you that I know how hard it is to watch someone you're in love with pine over someone else? Don't tell you any of that?"

That was not how Jane planned it, but it was out there now.

_Girl you've given me a million second chances_

_and I don't ever wanna take you for granted,_

_I'm just human, I'm just human  
_

Silence overtook the room for what seemed like the millionth time that night. Maura stared at Jane, her mouth slightly agape.

"Maur, say something, please."

But Maura didn't say anything. She simply moved from her perch on the chair and then suddenly her lips were on Jane's and Jane was being pushed back onto the couch. Jane was certain nothing had ever felt this good before. When they finally broke apart for air, Jane stared up at Maura's smiling face.

"I love you too, Jane."

"I know I'm an idiot, and I should have figured this out sooner, but I'm sorry for making you feel bad," Jane said.

"Jane, you're always going make mistakes, and I will too, but we'll get through them. Together."

Maura smiled and pressed her lips against Jane's again.

"I don't deserve someone as amazing as you," Jane mumbled.

_Hard to love, hard to love, _

_oh I don't make it easy and _

_I couldn't do it if I stood where you stood. _

An hour or so later Angela returned to the main house to put her dish in the dishwasher and clean up after supper. She was surprised to find the living room empty. As she headed over, she noticed something odd. There was a trail of clothes leading up the stairs. Then she heard a thump and moan from the direction of Maura's bedroom. Angela had never moved so fast in her entire life.

_I'm hard to love, hard to love _

_and you say that you need me, _

Jane pulled her head from between Maura's legs, "Did you hear something?"

"What? No, I didn't hear anything," Maura half said, half moaned.

Jane just shrugged and lowered her head.

_I don't deserve it but I love that you love me good._

_I don't deserve it but I love that you love me good._

_You love me good._


End file.
